Man (or Woman) Up!

Remember about 8 years ago when “U-scan it” got really popular? They were all over large grocery stores and for whatever reason were so cool to use. Who knew we would get so excited about scanning our own groceries?! My Dad never liked using one though, he was more old fashioned wanted to talk to an actual human opposed to replacing one with a machine. The same went for banks with my Mom, never wanting to use the outside lane to get cash or deposit a check but to speak with a banker directly. Again, engaging a person rather than a machine. I never knew what the big deal was. It was faster, more efficient to get a machine to do what a person could do in, but in half the time.

Is it too late to retract that statement now? Because now my friends will gush about their date for Wednesday night, it’s a new guy…

Me – “Oh great! How’d you meet him?”

Them – “Tinder”

Them – “Hinge!”

Them – “Match.com”

Them – “OkCupid”

Dating apps… and the list goes on.

And then I feel out. Like yeah, it is really hard to meet single, tall, attractive guys in a new city when I see more snow than sunshine. Maybe I will get Tinder, I mean no harm done it’s not like I have to talk to them if I don’t want to. If I get Tinder I might as well try Hinge too. OkCupid also seems easy enough.

Pretty soon my inbox is full of “SoandSo3948 looked at your profile, like him back!” Like who?! The messages always end up with some false sense of witty banter that doesn’t translate well from a stranger over the internet. Or I find myself only swiping left because “he wasn’t cute enough” or “I’d never actually meet him in person” or “yeah he’s cute, but then his personality is probably terrible.”

Is this what dating in a modern day has become?! Am I so old fashioned that I want a guy to come up and introduce himself on the T, or the bar or the coffee shop? When did I become “so bold” because I wasn’t afraid to introduce myself to the cute guy dancing next to me? When did I have to use my phone to download 8 dating apps to have a guy take me to dinner?! And most of the time it’s not even dinner! It’s drinks! Not even apps and drinks?! But then again I don’t know him at all so if it’s terrible I’d be stuck at dinner…yeah better make it just drinks. Being a modern day single girl is tough.

So enough for the vent, but here’s my call to action. GO TALK TO HIM/HER!! So what if they turn you down?! Maybe they’re in a relationship already, maybe they don’t want one, maybe you had bad breath, or the girl/guy behind you was who they were actually winking at. But does it really matter that much? Does the stranger that says “no thank you” to your date request at the T kill your ego that much? Put yourself out there. Try. Because if we settle for these dating apps, does that mean we’re settling for our soul mate too?

My true love is out there and if I have to explain to my future kids we met because I chose to swipe right to his picture with the cute Labrador puppy…that will be one sad story to tell.

Apps deleted. Just say hi.

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3 comments

  1. It’s about 3 things. Quantity, self-esteem and comfort. It’s a lot easier to go thru 100 profiles on these dating apps than it is to actually go to a bar to see or like 100 people. Fear of “real-life” rejection as well plays a part. The newer generation seems to be coddled more and isn’t able to build up any kind of skin to be able to handle that. It’s a lot easier like you said to be rejected via an app where you merely swipe onto the next person than in person when you have to see them eye-to-eye (the horror!!). Why go out now when you can sit at home in your PJ’s and basically accomplish the same goal as going to an actual bar. The even funnier thing is that the “U-Scan it” devices you speak of are actually going away in stores and they’re going back to the traditional real life cashiers. This is a strange time & transition we’re living in prior to the machines taking over. Great article though. Hope Boston is treating you well, stay warm & I’ll holla @ cha later.

  2. Spot on, Erin. I’d rather meet a guy at a farmer’s market, book shop, or hiking trail, because then you already know you have a shared interest! No matter how many phone apps there are, nothing beats meeting someone the old-fashioned way. 🙂

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